When
Anna asked me to write an article about my participation in ADAVIC’s anxiety course,
I jumped at the opportunity because, even though I am scared and worried about
what people may think of my writing, I love to challenge myself in overcoming
my anxiety. That's how it has been for me, probably I suspect because my Dad
taught me to swim by dropping me in the ocean near him and saying
"Swim!" Feel the fear and do it anyway! "Shock, horror”, I hear
you say, but don't worry, he did the best he could with what he knew (as most
parents do) and all is forgiven on that front.
So
why did I do the course? I enrolled in ADAVIC’s anxiety course as another
series of panic attacks had me by the neck. I have suffered these horrid
episodes for perhaps the last fifteen or more years. No need to tell you about
it because you all know what it is like. Anyway.....
I
walked into the small church hall on the first night, feeling nervous but knowing
I was going to learn something. I have participated in many self-development
seminars and groups and love to experience the breakthroughs that are inherent
in these sessions. I teach workshops myself and believe that we all have
something to contribute.
The
best thing that came out of the first evening for me was "Why WOULDN’T I have
anxiety?" What a relief! I was the classic "good girl", I'd had "stuff"
from my childhood to deal with, I was a control freak and needed to have things
just right and I was a walking, talking "I'm right" machine! I came
home that night eager to do the homework and to get into it.
I began the monitoring of my anxiety every two hours for the first week and
within a couple of days realised that I had a time issue. If I ever need to
have the children somewhere on time, I stress out and tell myself that there won't
be enough time to get everything done. Bingo! I noticed this to be a pattern in
my life, getting myself all worked up when people were coming or things needed
to be done. Once I realised this and surrendered to the moment, I was able to
achieve so much more than before. As soon as we can get a handle on the idea
that our thoughts create our reality, we can catch ourselves when we are in our
doom and gloom self-talk. Wonderful!
The
next great insight was the idea that Emotions can be interpreted as Energy - in
- Motion. Being an energy worker myself, this one was easy to understand. When
you begin to panic, do you notice that you tell yourself stuff like, "oh
no, here it comes again", "here we go again" or something like
"it's back...aagghh!" or other such resisting notions? If we can see that
this fear is natural and not resist it, we can allow it to just move through
us. I've tried this every time since the course. The first time was in the
supermarket when I felt that unreal feeling which usually heralds some panic. I
held on to the trolley, remembered that the feeling was "energy in
motion" and just allowed it to pass through me. I reckon it lasted less
than half a minute and then it was gone. I was triumphant! I nearly told the
person standing next to me at the freezer!
What
else impacted on me? Oh yes, we were encouraged to get in touch with our fear/panic/anxiety
and treat it like a naughty child. We were taken through a process to ask our fear
what it needed. I had the realisation that my "little girl" (inner
child) had never learnt HOW to love. We all crave to be loved and to give love.
How could I do that if I was never taught? So I thought, "I need to have a
love affair with myself". That week, I bought beautiful tulips, not just a
cheap bunch of flowers for myself, but the best. I bought a beautiful card and
spent lots of money on some gorgeous lingerie! I deserve the best and who can
give that to me? MYSELF!!
These
are the great things that happened for me by participating in ADAVIC's course.
Others will have their stories of what was important to them. I'd recommend the
course. The people were just like you and me, the music and meditations were
lovely, the environment was made safe and nurturing and I am more able to
manage my anxiety and help others who come to me for help.
Thank
you to Anna and ADAVIC for all your committed hard work.
Helen
O'Connor
Update:
That was in 2001 and as I write this, in 2016, my life has changed so much
since those early days of my recovery. I am now a Marriage Celebrant and my
business The Reiki Cottage in Preston is turning 20 years old. FasterEFT has
helped me to let go of all of my anxiety and I am now medication-free. As a
higher level FasterEFT Advanced Practitioner, I get to travel and do what I love.
I am about to embark on a 3-month trip to the USA, UK and Finland sharing my
knowledge and continuing to help others.
I am very grateful To ADAVIC for being there all those years ago when it was so
difficult for me to pick up the phone and call. I am so glad I did.
www.helenoconnor.com.au
reikicottage@optusnet.com.au