It’s really tough finding out your teenager is experiencing depression.
It’s equally, if not more tough, when they don’t want any help. Whether you
think that they’re in denial, don’t understand, or just simply don’t want help
for whatever reason, it’s normal to feel helpless and at a loss. As a parent,
it’s your natural inclination to want to do everything possible to help your
teenager and make them feel better when they’re suffering. With depression, you
understand that it’s important to approach this issue early because it can get
worse if not addressed. But guess what? There are plenty of things you can do
that will be great for your teenager and may even edge them towards accepting
further help.
What can you do if you suspect your child has depression?
People with depression often experience lethargy, making doing pretty
much anything hard. It’s likely that your teenager is very
inwardly focused at the moment and feeling cut off from family and
friends. Listening and taking action can be really difficult for them.
After showing that you’re worried and offering support, sometimes you’ll
have to be patient. Just because your teenager isn’t taking action, doesn’t
mean that they’re ignoring you. Keep talking and being open, even if doesn’t
feel two-sided.
Your teenager may feel awkward chatting to you about what’s up but really
want to talk to somebody. You could organise for them to chat to a trusted
adult friend or another family member like an uncle or older sister. Connecting them with this support shows that
you care and that you want to work with them as a team to make things better.
Everyday things to support your teen
1. Keep them connected
Being socially connected is an important protective factor against
depression. Strong friendships can boost self-esteem, create a sense of
belonging and build self-worth in teenagers (and adults!). Have a think about
your teenager’s friendship group and encourage them to hang out with people you
know are supportive and make them feel good. If they’re up for it, offer to
take them to social events – removing barriers like having to get on a bus with
strangers can be great for keeping them connected. Remember, online connections
can be really important too so if your teen has gamer or forum friends,
encourage them to stay in contact with these people.
When somebody has depression, they often find it hard to keep doing the
things they usually enjoy. Whether on their own or with friends, it can help to
encourage them to keep up with things like music, sport or art, and ask if
there are any ways you can help make it happen.
2. Make sure they’re
healthy
Keeping your body active and moving is particularly important – and also
hard - for someone who is experiencing depression. Little things like inviting
your child for a walk, swim or a bike ride can get the endorphins flowing and
can have a positive impact on their mood. These things can be a circuit breaker
which helps them to think about getting help or engaging in other activities
that require more focus or concentration.
Eating nutritious meals and getting enough sleep is really beneficial to
treating depression. Studies show that young people need at least 7.5 hours
sleep each night. Help your teen
establish a routine that will get them to bed with enough time for their 7.5
hours. This might be things like agreeing to put screens away at a certain
time, minimising caffeine or practising meditation before bed. If the rest of
the family can follow suit with these actions so your teenager doesn’t feel
like they’re being singled out, even better!
3. Seeing the doctor
Your teenager doesn’t want help with their depression, that part is
clear. Perhaps, they’d be ok with going to see a GP about any physical symptoms
they’re experiencing. Stigma can be powerful even to this day, and age as well
as physical sickness can be seen as more ‘normal’ than mental health issues.
Get them to list their symptoms and how they feel about them. Let them
know that talking to a doctor might help with these physical symptoms, getting
them comfortable with the general idea of seeking help. Offer to go with them
to the appointment but be respectful of how they want to manage their health,
including seeing a health professional
on their own.
4. Self help
Sometimes giving your teenager some space to discover things for
themselves can really turn things around. It helps them to feel like they’re in
the driver seat and allows them to form their own understanding of what’s going
on. Make them aware of:
· ReachOut.com
· headspace
· BiteBack
· Youth Beyond Blue
· Kids Helpline
ReachOut.com has lots of information about depression and
your child will also be able to hear about strategies that other young people
with depression have found useful. This can be a really positive way of
managing depression and help them feel connected as your child won’t feel so
isolated and alone.
5 Expressing your emotions
Showing your teenager that you’re concerned, care and that you’re there
for them is really important. But letting them know all your fears won’t give
them the confidence they need to get through this. It’s totally fair to be
worried and scared but try to talk to a friend or partner about this rather
than your teenager.
Avoid platitudes like ‘It’ll pass’ or ‘I know how you feel’. Show your
genuine feelings, and interest in supporting them but recognise this is not
about you.
It’s not unusual to blame yourself or feel at fault that your teenager
feels this way. Try to put this aside so that you can concentrate or how to
best assist your child from this point forward. This might involve seeking out
separate support for yourself, from a friend, partner etc – find a place where
you can talk about your own worries and concerns. Remain calm and
non-judgmental. Find a way to express your concerns and keep yourself informed.
These are all important ways to help your teen through this. Self-care is essential too, you need to look after yourself
first and foremost, even if it’s just so that you can help them.
From Parents.au.ReachOut.com