A message to all parents and caring adults from Dr Janet Hall
The dust of two towers must settle.The shadow of fear does not settle easily.
Especially not in the hearts of innocent children who may now fear world war.
It is my intention to provide a daily message for 14 consecutive days which offers understanding and strategies for us to help our children cope.
Please help me by sending this on to all who care about kids
To access all 14 Tips go to www.aps.psychsociety.com.au
The Australian Psychological Society U.S. Attacks Resource Centre .
HOW DO WE FREE THE CHILDREN FROM FEAR?
by Dr Janet Hall
Clinical Psychologist
Author: Fear-free Children, Fight-free Families and How You
Can Be Boss of Bedtime
The introduction of my book, Fear-free Children, puts this challenge:
Parents are not only becoming concerned about their children's
fear, they are beginning to feel angry and helpless in the face
of questions like these:
- How do you explain to your children that the next world war will not destroy them? Does it make any difference if it is going on the other side of the globe? Children know that, with nuclear warfare, there would be no hope of survival.
- How can you monitor your children's TV watching so that they don't happen to see extremely terrifying real?life events which show war, natural disasters and violent crime?
How can you help with your children's fears when you don't have the answers yourself? The Fear-free Children book can help, by presenting the basic understandings that psychologists have learned about how fear is caused, expressed and can be treated.
The book also helps parents know:
How to set realistic expectations of anxiety and confidence levels for both children and parents. To understand how fears are categorised and developed and when they are a concern. How things can go wrong and what to avoid doing. Strategies for helping children with anxiety and fears. How professional coaching can help.
The fundamental philosophy which underlies the message is that the best teachers of children are their own parents and that the best protection against fearful events is education, understanding and communication.
It is a challenge for parents to walk the fine line between allowing children to take risks and protecting them from harm, but children need to learn to protect themselves. They also need to know that learning comes from taking risks and succeeding, and from making mistakes and correcting them next time.
Children who have confidence in their ability to handle stressful events and challenges in their lives are less vulnerable to fear.
14 TIPS TO HELP SCARED KIDS AFTER A TRAUMATIC DISASTER
by Dr. Janet Hall
Introduction:
When we were kids our parents sang us to sleep with a lullaby that soothed us with the thought that 'nothing can harm us while our parents are near'. The tragedy of the Year 2001 is that our kids are far too sophisticated to believe us. With access to multimedia, they are instantly exposed to world dramas.
How can we cope with a major tragedy that happens across the other side of the world, but feels like it's happening in our own backyard? How can we help our children make sense out of the destruction of so many American lives when we adults don't understand it ourselves!
Somehow we have to re-establish our children's trust. Children are able to cope better with a traumatic event if adults support them as soon as possible after the event
How do we do this?
TIP 1: THE FIRST THING ADULTS NEED TO DO IS ANTICIPATE AND MONITOR THEIR CHILDREN'S REACTIONS
1. How are children likely to think and feel after the American tragedy? After a Trauma, children of all ages can be subject to emotional and psychological upsets.
| The Emotion | The Psychological Basis for The Emotion |
| Fear |
What if this bad thing happens to us?What if this bad thing happens to us? |
| Guilt |
Maybe my thoughts or behaviour caused these bad things and it's my fault? |
| Anger and
Confusion |
Why do bad people do these things and why don't adults who I trust, stop them? |
| Despair,
sadness and helplessness |
There's nothing I can do to make my world safe so I might as well give up. |
How do Children Behaviourally Indicate Their Fear and Hurt After A Trauma?
Collectively, children of different age groups often typically demonstrate their fear and hurt in different ways. Remember that some children may not show initial distress because they squash it inside, but it may begin to ooze out in uncharacteristic changes in behaviour over time.
Preschool Age and Younger: Littlies are often easily observed in their expression of fearful behaviours. They may regress to behaviours like thumb-sucking, wanting to get into their parents' bed, whining and being clingy.
Primary School Age: These children can be like "Chicken Little" who panicked about the sky falling down. They spread bad news like contagious illnesses. Some children may experience insecurities expressed as "sick tummies", headaches, sleeping problems and nightmares. Others might be uncharacteristically irritable, stubborn, hyperactive and explosively physical in the playground.
Teenagers: Because teens are preoccupied with "looking good" with their peers, they often act as if they are "cool" about dramas. In actuality, they internalise their upset. They may have poor school performance, prolonged bouts of sleeping and stop communicating. Occasionally they may burst into rage over something that seems inconsequential, such as "Who moved my stuff?"
How Might Kids React After the American Catastrophe?
1. Be afraid the event will re-occur. What if a plane crashed into our house?
2. Become easily upset, crying and whining.
3. Become afraid of wind, rain or sudden loud noises.
4. Revert to younger behavior such as bed wetting and thumb sucking.
5. Not want parents out of their sight and refuse to go to school or childcare.
6. Have symptoms of illness, such as headaches, vomiting or fever.
7. Be upset over the loss of a favorite toy, blanket, teddy bear or other things that adults might consider insignificant, but which are important to the child.
8. Develop night-time fears. They may be afraid to sleep alone at night with the light off, to sleep in their own room, or have nightmares or bad dreams.
9. Change from being quiet, obedient and caring to loud, noisy and aggressive or may change from being outgoing to shy and afraid.
10. Lose trust in adults. After all, adults were not able to prevent the disaster.
Top Tip To Do Today
Promise fearful children that you will do your utmost to always be there to take care of them, no matter what happens. Reassure them of this many times through the day.
